Wednesday, January 8, 2014

About Me & My Story

Welcome! My name is Maggie and I'm so glad you've stopped by! I'm a 23 year old stay at home mom who is a Christ follower, loves cooking, crafting, outdoors (camping), and most importantly, loving on my two guys! If you're here, expect to witness a far from perfect life, a young mom and new wife who is still learning everything, pixelated pictures taken from my iPhone, and posts about anything from the dinners I made to venting about my struggles with life. I understand this makes me completely vulnerable, but hopefully by sharing my story, there are others like me who will encouraged by my story and who will encourage me through theirs. As not just wives and mothers, but as women, we are to encourage each other (1 Thesselonians 5:11) and come together in community to do so (Hebrews 10:24-25).  So read my story, look around my blog in the making, and let me know what you think!  Let me first introduce you to the main peeps in my life:

Houston:  my best friend and my absolute rock. He is a hot environmental scientist who is the most amazing provider. He loves me, encourages me, makes me laugh, and makes me feel so beautiful. I'll talk about him a lot!

"Buddy": my two and a half year old pride and joy. He's my first love and that's where my story gets interesting! He's a strong-willed, intelligent, hilarious boy who constantly keeps me on my toes and is always teaching me new things! He's the love of my life, and I cannot imagine loving anybody as much as I love him.

Here's our story:

Let's start with my background! I have an amazing family. My parents brought us (my two sibs and I) up in a fun, loud, Christian home and raised us to believe in relationships. I could go and lay on my mom's bed and tell her anything, and still can. My siblings and I are always still at my parents more than a lot of others because we love being there, sitting around talking, playing games, and just getting to be with each other. We went to church every weekend, and I had proclaimed Jesus as my Lord and Savior when I was eight years old. Like many Christians, throughout my adolescence, and most of my teenage years, I had a relationship with the Lord, had my mountaintop experiences at church camps and had deep conversations about the Word on Wednesday nights at Bible Studies, but wasn't adequately prepared for going to college and learning what true freedom was.

Throughout my college years, I ended up at three different colleges, changing my major countless times, completely lost, and ignoring God's call to me to be drop my lifestyle and completely surrender to Him. I finally ended up switching to a college in Texas where I focused more on a boyfriend and partying that I did my studies. I ended up pregnant at 20 years old completely scared and feeling alone. My on-and-off again boyfriend had no intention of the keeping the baby. As quickly as the thought of abortion entered my mind, it left just as quick. (I am pro-choice, so I am not condemning any woman for having an abortion!) This is the moment I started praying again. Seems like something a lot of us do all of the time. I call on God now? When I need him, only to have neglected Him and His plan for me for so long? My boyfriend and I even made an appointment with an adoption agent who came to my house. I remember me cleaning my nasty college house for her, on a rainy day, completely dreading the conversation. After she left, I cried, and knew it wasn't the decision for me. I was going to keep the baby. What did my parents have to say about all of this you ask? When I called them to tell them, they handled it calmly, but were both very saddened by the news. After sharing with everyone that I was keeping the baby, it continued to be on-and-off and very dysfunctional between me and the father, and I moved home to my parents as soon as the fall semester was over.

After giving birth to "Buddy"

Let's fast forward to when my son was born. Bear was born on May 16, 2011. My mother had been going to my Bradley classes with me for twelve weeks. She was so great to go with me, practice with me, and be my Bradley coach. It brought us even closer than we were before. Bear's father went to one class and we were back together pretty close before the birth. A month after Bear was born, the father and I broke up and that was the last time we were together. Not having someone there in the form of a stable partner and father to my child was very difficult. I would rock Bear to sleep at night and and cry and cry thinking that I was now unlovable. I couldn't understand how anybody would want to date "damaged goods"- that's how I felt- that no man in their right mind would want to date me when I had a child, I had not finished college, and lived with my parents. I would take Bear to do things around other moms and felt completely ashamed of being a single mother. I felt inadequate to other women because I was not only unwed, but because I was a younger mother. I wasn't trusting in the Lord and His plan for me. In His word he says He has plans for welfare, and not for evil, to give us a future and a hope! Wow, so much better than relying on myself and any capability I thought I had in controlling the things happening in my life. Although I still struggled at times with this, the Lord continued to surround me by people who loved me tremendously and wanted to show God's love to me. I got involved in a mother's Bible Study at my church, was able to teach a music class to preschoolers, and was taking classes. It might have seemed at the time that my life was in shambles, but the Lord provided for me for sure.

Houston and I after dating for 3 months

In December of 2011, a guy I met in college text me just to catch up and say hey. He asked me on a date, and it was the most awkward date ever. Regardless of that fact (I even told him I wanted five children!), he asked me on a second date, and since then we dated. This man was Houston. Houston would come to my parents to visit me every weekend, sacrificing alone time with me, and his college life to get to spend time with me and get to know Bear better. As we began to date longer, I realized that this man was the man that would be my husband. He was exactly what I needed. He was patient with me, loved me like crazy, was starting to love my son as his own, was a man that I knew I could spend the rest of my life with. Here, God had this man for me, he provided for me once again. He also provided for my future husband, in giving him a job opportunity in Houston.

Through this job, Houston was able to save money and propose to me after a year and a half of dating. We were wed only two months ago on November 2, 2013 after being engaged for five months. In this time, I have since moved from my parents house after living with them and raising my child there with their help after three years, become a stay at home mother, and a new wife. Even though I am married now, I still have a hard time trusting in God's plan for me life. I have not finished college, and in this simple fact, I have managed to compare myself to many, feeling as though I have nothing to give society. Though Satan constantly uses this against me, (as it is harder on our finances, with my patience at home with Buddy, and not feeling like I am truly accomplished in life), I have a daily reminder in my son and my loving husband that I am loved and I have been provided for. Rather than pursuing nursing school, I have chosen to be a full-time stay at home mother and try to maintain a loving home that will serve the Lord, and I can thank Him for giving me these wonderful opportunities.

There you have it- my backwards life! I became a mom first, then a wife. I will continue to share my story through this blog as I navigate through life, and hopefully through it, I will see that the Lord has and is showing me his wonderful grace by providing me with everything that I have. Through this blog, I hope that I can share with others my beliefs, and through that, gain a stronger relationship with Christ. A relationship that has proven that my God is a God of mercy, a God of compassion, and a God full of love for anybody who will accept it! If the Lord can love, forgive, and accept me and my backwards life, there's no doubt in my mind, he will do the same for you!

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