I had thought about posting a Mother’s Day blog post for a
while, but had no idea what to post exactly, and wasn’t sure if my heart was
really in it. Then something happened the other day when I was dropping off my
son at Mother’s Day Out.
We always arrive a little bit early to Mother’s Day Out,
while the teachers are having their morning meeting, so I can sit with Buddy,
and reassure him that God is with him throughout the day, that he’ll have so
much fun, etc. Another mother and her daughter are always early too, and we
talk occasionally, but typically it’s just the standard let’s politely laugh and tell the other mom how cute their child is deal
going on, not really making much eye contact with one another, awkward thing.
Well this woman’s daughter is such a talker. She always runs around
adventurously, saying whatever is on her mind and in perfectly understandable
non-babble sentences, mind you. She looked at Buddy and asked her mom “ Is he a
baby??” She asked this because Buddy doesn’t talk. He is very shy in public, as
well as having a major speech delay. He cannot communicate with the others in
his class as they can, which to a three year old makes him seem like a baby. My
first reactions were to be very hurt, and so thankful that Buddy didn’t quite comprehend
this. I was angry at this very innocent comment by a three year old. But what was my response? “Noooo, he acts like a
baby sometimes though”. WHAT? Why the heck did I say this? Did he hear this and
did it hurt him? On my way home I cried because of something that was said
about my child that could hurt him, and that I-his mother- said something that could potentially hurt him as well.
You might be thinking, why is she so upset she said that,
she just said he acts like a baby? This was just a quick comment, something
that seems so insignificant, and Buddy probably didn’t even comprehend what I
was saying, but what if he did? How many other things have I said to him that I
think are just silly little comments that have hurt him? And how many more
things in the future will I say that will affect his self-esteem? I feel like
our culture now is not wanting to brag on our children too much, so it’s funny
for moms in conversation to say “what a weirdo” or “he’s not the sharpest tool
in the shed” in front of friends or family members. We know we are joking, and
most of the time, our kids probably know we are too, but what happens when our “joking
filter” lets out other things that aren’t uplifting to our children? I know you’ve
all heard that quote: the way you speak to your children will become their inner
voices. I don’t know about y’all, but that speaks volumes to me.
The words we choose to say about our children and around our
children can either bless them greatly or be quite damaging; those words will
become an inner voice of confidence or an inner voice of low self-esteem.
So how are we to stop
this pattern of talking down to our children or saying things that could
negatively impact them?
Realize That Our Children are Rewards
and Gifts from the Lord
Psalm 127:3 says that children are rewards and gifts from
the Lord. They are gifts from our Father! Gift-implying that we have done nothing to deserve them. We, of course
all believe that our children are just perfect, but how often do we show them
through our words that we believe they are fearfully
and wonderfully made? Only when we are pleased with them? Only when they
are being cute or funny? It should come out even when we are disciplining them
or frustrated with them. Being fully conscious that our children are gifts,
given to us by the grace of God, who has entrusted us with them, puts it all
into a whole new perspective. Buddy is a precious gift to me, and therefore I
need to cherish him in every waking moment, showing him nothing but constant
affection as my Father has shown to me.
It Starts With Us
I always say how much I “hate” a song, or “hate” that
certain kind of food. My child will grow up saying he hates everything. It starts with us, moms. It starts with
understanding that whatever comes out of our mouths is born in our hearts. And
God’s Word says in Ephesians 4:29 that what we say shouldn’t be any unwholesome talk, but only what is helpful for
building up others according to their needs. Our children need to be built up by our words. We worry so much about how others
will tear them down, that we don’t think about how much of an impact our little comments could hurt them. This
has been a tough tough lesson for me.
I should have kind things to say in every situation, because that should be the
attitude of my heart. But sometimes I’m an impatient and tired mother who doesn’t
stop to think that my corrupt talk has such an impact on my child. And that
what my child learns from me, will be not only how he talks to himself, but
treats others.
I want my child to
love himself. I want my child to respect himself. I want my child to respect
others. I want to change the attitude of my heart so that no corrupt words come
from my mouth, but words that lift up my sweet Buddy.
Lord, let me see the
blessing my child is every day, that he is a gift from you. Give me a kind
disposition and to learn to love kindness. Grant me the strength it takes to
resist any corrupt talk, or anything negative that could hurt my child’s
self-esteem. Give me the wisdom it takes
to teach my child your Word.
Let’s be mothers who train our hearts to focus on the
goodness in all situations, in others, and most of all in our children.
Let’s be mothers that speak kind words that will only
benefit others around us to be examples for our children, that they will grow
up with a healthy sense of self.
Let’s be mother’s that love our children with the love that our Father
has graciously shown us.
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